• Phil Kurut, Comedy - Cigars - Music

ADVENTURA THE ROYAL RETURN QUEEN'S PEARLS | CIGAR REVIEW

FEBRUARY 17, 2022 - PHIL KURUT, COMEDY - CIGARS - MUSIC


ADVENTURA THE ROYAL RETURN QUEEN’S PEARLS ROBUSTO (4 1/2 x 50)

WRAPPER: ECUADORIAN CONNECTICUT SHADE

BINDER: ECUADOR

FILLER: DOMINICAN REPUBLIC, ECUADOR, NICARAGUA

The Pearls’ first puff draws in cream, cedar, spice, and vanilla. All very well-balanced. The retrohale flows through without a peep. Clean and smooth. The second retrohale brings a bit of cinnamon. Very subtle. The finish requires a little work on my part. As I move my tongue around, spice kicks up with some coffee and tart earth.


Draw and smoke output are spot on. Burn is dang near razor sharp.


Vanilla sails on, allowing coffee to trail somewhat in the distance. Everything has tamed down from an already fairly tame beginning.


Cedar now stands as the sole representative of the retrohale. The finish becomes a quiet wave of coffee, spice, and shallow sweetness. Not shallow like sorority girls. Anyway.

A solid, sheathed ash breaks away cleanly.


Toasted cereal grains and coffee begin to chip away at the vanilla. Calm waters. It’s like when you hop on a boat to go whale-watching. Sometimes, the whales are out there. Sometimes, you just pay for a long boat ride.


I’ve never been whale-watching. Always figured I would end up sitting beside an old couple, let’s call them Darlene and Marvin, and all Darlene and Marvin want to do is show me pictures of their grandchildren, which I can hardly see due to the sun’s glare on their smartphone screen. In turn, I’m forced to nod my head, smile like an idiot, and say something affirming like, “Oh, what a beautiful family.”


Then, if whales actually show up, Darlene has to point them out to Marvin…and everyone else…saying something like, “Oh, look over there! Phil, look!” Yes, Darlene. Everyone sees the whale we all came out here to see and that our guide pointed out two minutes ago. Thank you. So, no whale-watching for me.


As I struggle to remove the heavy-duty band, the second clump of ash falls into my ashtray. Solid.


The retrohale and finish float on.

Pearls begins to fade into the horizon as the sweetness sinks into the vast sea of coffee and nothingness.


It’s amazing how long Darlene can talk without anyone listening.


Marvin is a saint.

SMOKE TIME: 1 hr. 14 mins.


RATING: 2 / 4 - I’m sure Darlene and Marvin are really sweet.


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