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  • Writer's picturePhil Kurut, Comedy - Cigars - Music







The Conqueror starts with earth, very subtle caramel, and very mild coffee. Smooth. Earth, coffee, and the slightest bit of black licorice drop out of the retrohale. The finish has a bit of bite, but I wouldn’t say it hits harshness. There’s coffee and a touch of leather. Maybe some fruit. Maybe. I have to work for that one though.

I don’t typically reach for gordos, but this one came in a sampler I ordered. I’ll work with what I’ve got. Kind of my motto.

Hitting a slight burn issue. I’m gonna smoke roll ™ it for a while and see if I can get it corrected. Prayers up.

Also, The Phil Switch, one of my podcasts, has made its way to YouTube. Check it out if you like. If not, whatever. I’ll include a link at the bottom of this review either way for you to click or ignore.

Well, the ash was holding on well until I clumsily bumped it on my ashtray. Not the most ceremonious of events. Definitely not as cool as a burial at sea, which for some reason seems a little terrifying. What if you’re not actually dead but just a heavy sleeper? Anyway.

The smoke roll ™ worked prior to my bump. Nothing new to report as far as any transitions aside from all sweetness has vacated for now.

Looks like the ash fell on a midget bat.

Fruit leads the pack, and coffee and bread follow shortly after. The burn issue is back with a vengeance, and the smoke roll ™ isn’t going to save this one.

The retrohale pours out mostly leather, but there’s a burnt something there as well. Pass on that.

The Conqueror holds a bit of coffee and leather on the finish. There’s some spice, but it’s more of a mild tingle really. That’s what she said.

The burn once again begins to show its hatred for me. To the lighter I go once again.

It’s often at times like this I start getting a little bored during a review. There’s not much going on with the cigar, and I have to work to keep things moving. One-sided relationship here.

Removing the band was fun. If memory serves me correctly, ADVentura seems to use master welders and extra super super glue to apply their bands. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a tactical knife handy, so I had to rip off the band. It ain’t quite as purdy now.

Some syrup comes into play by way of a watered-down maple syrup. Coffee and a general watered-down sweetness plays too.

The burn seems to have gotten its groove back. Not sure it’s the same groove Stella got back, but it’s something.

Coffee and leather flow from the retrohale, showcasing a harsh bite from the leather. My nose hairs might never be the same. That might be overdramatic.

The finish rests somewhere in a mixture of burnt toast and coffee. It could also be burnt coffee and toast. Anyway.

The burn looks like it’s going to start doing its own thing again, so I’m going to save myself some lighter fluid and call it quits here.

Well, the draw and smoke output were excellent, but The Conqueror didn’t really conquer much for me.

SMOKE TIME: 1 hr. 50 mins.

RATING: 2 / 4 - Unconquered.

Watch The Phil Switch HERE.

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